again, the question

today my husband asked me again if I love him as much as he loves me, and I said yes because how many times can I dodge that question, or even tell him some semblance of the truth that will just lead to more questions and more than I want to deal with right now? but it hurts to lie to him, and just to realize that I don't love him as much as I thought I once did.

but what immediately preceded that question was this: he had brought me back some food from hawaii that I had asked for, and said that since he did this for me I have to love him more.

now, with him this could mean two things, possibly in conjunction with each other: either sexual or actual love. he knows that I have zero interest in sex whatsoever considering my "condition," however he's trying to prove that it's just some failure on his part and if he tries hard enough he'll coax some kind of desire out of me. I wish he'd just stop and let me take the lead on things when I'm ready. he's definitely calmed down a lot lately, but he'll still make snide little comments like, "well I know you aren't interested but I still have to take care of myself." he insists this isn't to make me feel guilty. well, whatever. it's just annoying me at this point.

but, he's noticed a marked decrease in my interest in him altogether, so it could just possibly mean that he wants me to love him like I did before the wedding, before...well, before a lot of things.

should I be worried about this not working out? should I begin formulating a plan B? I don't know...I guess I'll just wait and see how things go in the next year or two, after the baby and hopefully after the hormones clear and I can think like a normal person. wish me luck on that one...I can't recall the last time that ever happened to be honest...