the worst is over...or yet to come?
ahhh...it's been too long! so much has happened, and most of it I'm already trying to forget. here's a recap:
new year's and my birthday (the day after the new year) were pretty uneventful, but nice. quiet is good at this point. my mom figured that having her friend act as "wedding planner" alleviates anything she may need to do for the wedding, so she's been off my ass about what's going on and needing to be informed. then came the shitstorm.
my matron of honor, who's been my best friend since grade school, has been (up until a few weeks ago) one of the biggest nightmares of my wedding. she's a heavy girl and doesn't feel comfortable in anything other than baggy pants and long-sleeved shirt. she thought that being my best friend and me usually letting people be who they are and be comfortable, that she could wear a pant-suit. A FREAKING PANT-SUIT at my wedding. nevermind that she's going to be sweating and hot and miserable. nevermind that every other bridesmaid is going to be in a red dress while she's in a black PANT-SUIT. the guys are all wearing linen button-down red shirts and "natural" colored linen pants. if she's trying to hide, a PANT-SUIT is the worst way to do that. naturally I said no. so she calls my fiance.
bear in mind, they've never met. if they had, she never would have bothered. luckily he realized that what he says to my best friend has repercussions for me. so in the interest of my sanity, and consequently his own, he was kind but stern. he told her that the girls are wearing dresses and she'd really stand out. she attempted to argue, but I figured the job was done.
a couple of days later I get the guilt-trip email. it's really easy for me to find a dress, but it's not so easy for fat girls like her, blahblahblah. JUST WEAR A GODDAMN DRESS AND SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! it's my freaking wedding, and I wore what she picked out for me for her wedding. I'm not a dress person either, but I wore a floor-length dress for her wedding. and I didn't say a damn word about it. she later calls me while I'm in our hometown for my engagement party (more on that debacle later) and says that she found the perfect outfit. I'm excited and giddy and thinking things are finally going my way. I should have just told her to stop when she began to describe it. here's how it went: "it's this really pretty gauzy red material, the color that you wanted, it's these nice flowing pants with a long [I cant' remember if she said poncho or parka here] that covers everything." WHAT THE FUCK??? NO, that's not what I wanted. so I AGAIN brought up that the other girls are wearing dresses, please just wear a dress. I was nice about it, I didn't raise my voice or try and make her feel bad, even though every shitty thought was running through my mind.
so finally, finally, I get another email that she's bought a dress. A DRESS!!! YAY!!!
and I should have mentioned in the beginning, around november or december, that she sent me an email with pictures of dresses that were exactly what I had asked the bridesmaids to get: knee-length dark red dress in any cut they like. is that really so much to ask for?
the dress that she is now showing me is a floor-length ball gown. she's not getting that it's going to be around 70 - 75 degrees while she's used to about 50. but she's in a dress, that's all I have to say. however, her email basically said, "I hope you like it because I've already ordered it and there's no returns." nice.
luckily God loves me and has shown that through my fiance's cousin. she's been through this and she knows. she called me to ask how things were going and I screamed out the issues with my matron of honor, probably all in one long freaking breath. she genuinely thought about for a minute and told me not to worry. the maid/matron of honor is usually set somewhat apart from the other bridesmaids by what she's wearing. a pant-suit was obviously way too set apart, but if she's in a floor-length dress and she's standing next to me in a floor-length dress, it will actually flow just fine.
oh. ok.
and now I'm over that issue. I had asked her to hem the dress to knee-length (she's actually got really nice calves) and since she ordered the dress so late she wasn't sure that she could. I emailed her again and told her not to worry about it, I was just freaking out over every minute detail, and I'm now fine with the dress she has picked out. but she still asked that I not go all "bridezilla" on her. thanks, friend. and I'm continuing to get emails from her asking if I'm stressed, am I getting excited, and DON'T STRESS!!! while I appreciate the sentiments, it's not helping, and she's apparently forgotten that she told me she hated it when people did that to her before her wedding. but she's wearing a dress, and I know she means well.
and intertwined in all this was the engagement party.
new year's and my birthday (the day after the new year) were pretty uneventful, but nice. quiet is good at this point. my mom figured that having her friend act as "wedding planner" alleviates anything she may need to do for the wedding, so she's been off my ass about what's going on and needing to be informed. then came the shitstorm.
my matron of honor, who's been my best friend since grade school, has been (up until a few weeks ago) one of the biggest nightmares of my wedding. she's a heavy girl and doesn't feel comfortable in anything other than baggy pants and long-sleeved shirt. she thought that being my best friend and me usually letting people be who they are and be comfortable, that she could wear a pant-suit. A FREAKING PANT-SUIT at my wedding. nevermind that she's going to be sweating and hot and miserable. nevermind that every other bridesmaid is going to be in a red dress while she's in a black PANT-SUIT. the guys are all wearing linen button-down red shirts and "natural" colored linen pants. if she's trying to hide, a PANT-SUIT is the worst way to do that. naturally I said no. so she calls my fiance.
bear in mind, they've never met. if they had, she never would have bothered. luckily he realized that what he says to my best friend has repercussions for me. so in the interest of my sanity, and consequently his own, he was kind but stern. he told her that the girls are wearing dresses and she'd really stand out. she attempted to argue, but I figured the job was done.
a couple of days later I get the guilt-trip email. it's really easy for me to find a dress, but it's not so easy for fat girls like her, blahblahblah. JUST WEAR A GODDAMN DRESS AND SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! it's my freaking wedding, and I wore what she picked out for me for her wedding. I'm not a dress person either, but I wore a floor-length dress for her wedding. and I didn't say a damn word about it. she later calls me while I'm in our hometown for my engagement party (more on that debacle later) and says that she found the perfect outfit. I'm excited and giddy and thinking things are finally going my way. I should have just told her to stop when she began to describe it. here's how it went: "it's this really pretty gauzy red material, the color that you wanted, it's these nice flowing pants with a long [I cant' remember if she said poncho or parka here] that covers everything." WHAT THE FUCK??? NO, that's not what I wanted. so I AGAIN brought up that the other girls are wearing dresses, please just wear a dress. I was nice about it, I didn't raise my voice or try and make her feel bad, even though every shitty thought was running through my mind.
so finally, finally, I get another email that she's bought a dress. A DRESS!!! YAY!!!
and I should have mentioned in the beginning, around november or december, that she sent me an email with pictures of dresses that were exactly what I had asked the bridesmaids to get: knee-length dark red dress in any cut they like. is that really so much to ask for?
the dress that she is now showing me is a floor-length ball gown. she's not getting that it's going to be around 70 - 75 degrees while she's used to about 50. but she's in a dress, that's all I have to say. however, her email basically said, "I hope you like it because I've already ordered it and there's no returns." nice.
luckily God loves me and has shown that through my fiance's cousin. she's been through this and she knows. she called me to ask how things were going and I screamed out the issues with my matron of honor, probably all in one long freaking breath. she genuinely thought about for a minute and told me not to worry. the maid/matron of honor is usually set somewhat apart from the other bridesmaids by what she's wearing. a pant-suit was obviously way too set apart, but if she's in a floor-length dress and she's standing next to me in a floor-length dress, it will actually flow just fine.
oh. ok.
and now I'm over that issue. I had asked her to hem the dress to knee-length (she's actually got really nice calves) and since she ordered the dress so late she wasn't sure that she could. I emailed her again and told her not to worry about it, I was just freaking out over every minute detail, and I'm now fine with the dress she has picked out. but she still asked that I not go all "bridezilla" on her. thanks, friend. and I'm continuing to get emails from her asking if I'm stressed, am I getting excited, and DON'T STRESS!!! while I appreciate the sentiments, it's not helping, and she's apparently forgotten that she told me she hated it when people did that to her before her wedding. but she's wearing a dress, and I know she means well.
and intertwined in all this was the engagement party.
posted by nakedbride at 4:04 AM
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